khentutz… R-E-A-D-I-N-G

August 7, 2008

8-8-8

Triple 8s. Triple the luck triple the fun. As this day marks a very special day on the calendar two events i am aware of would happen this 08-08-08. One is an event i had never gone to before and the other is my comfort zone, a sweet escape i found when i was down and blue but being reborned this time.

I love trance and house music and my hubby is a fanatic too. Not just a fanatic but also  party goer to trance parties. Yes, you got the right thing in mind. Tomorrow will be Big Fish’s God’s Kitchen @ A-Venue in Makati Ave. In as much i am afraid of crowd that i will be going tomorrow, i chose it over my sweet escape. This event is important for my hubby and i will show my support by being with him. This plan of going to big fish was set a month ago and just one more night, it’s the big night @ the big fish. I am anxious because i am not used to go to such parties and such crowd where almost everyone struts their style and fashion and everything else. Hinde kase ako ganun. Ngaun e talagang kinakabahan na ako what could happen tomorrow. I don’t even know what to wear and if what i am thinking to wear is appropriate.   I just hope everything will be fine with my hubs by my side, well, that is to be classified pa, syempre party yuna nd andun lahat ng party friends nya so may possibility talaga that at some points in the event i could be left alone and secluded from the rest. 😦 However, marami nga nagagawa ang pag-ibig sa taong nagmamahal, i will still push through with my hubby tomorrow with the hopes of having a great time together for the first time for a big event.  Here’s the poster for the Big Fish’s God’s Kitchen Worldwide:

First Event Together With Hubby

First Event Together With Hubby

The other event that will be taking place on 08-08-08 will be the launch of Pink Republic Bar formerly known as El Nuevo Boracay 1 found in Tomas Morato. The Pink Republic Bar will be situated in Tomas Morato corner E. Rodriguez Ave., just beside Shell Gas Station. This was my sweet escape before when my previous relationship ended up. I spend nights here drinking and laughing with the performances. After which i gained true and sweet friends here. I would have chosen to go here if it was not 08-08-08 because i had given my word already to my hubby. And my friends just sent the invite to the new bar last monday night after 1.5 months of asking them when will it open. The short notice for me will not work as i will not argue the event with my hubby.  Here’s the Launch poster for PInk Republic Bar, however,  it is dated July 12, 2008. This was the former date that the bar will start operating but was pushed until 08-08-08.

El Nuevo Boracay 1 to Pink Republic Bar

El Nuevo Boracay 1 to Pink Republic Bar

As this day ends, 08-08-08 begins, will i be lucky this day? Will the triple signs of eternity and good luck prove its charm? I dunno. I just wanna be with my hubby.

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July 1, 2008

Pink Life

Help! I had a sudden impulse for club/house/trance music and indie films. I have been hearing and dancing many songs from the clubs i have been with my friends. I wanted them on my playlist. The problem is i dunno the titles nor the artists. As for the indie films, i missed all gay-themed movie premieres and play dates. I have some titles but i also don’t know where to get them. And as i blog, i also felt the urge of finding literature for the pink republicans. Hhmm any suggestions?

I have listed the songs i currently have on my playlist and the independent movie titles i would want to have a DVD copy, or at least a VCD copy. For books or any literature, just leave you suggestion 😛

Songs:

1. Deborah Cox – Absolutely Not

2. Rihanna – Please Don’t Stop the Music

3. Get far – Shining Star

4. Royal Gigolos – California Dreamin

5. Kat De Luna – Whine Up

6. Frederico Franchi – Cream

7. Beyonce – One Night Only Remix

8. Benny Benassi – Satisfaction

9. Hed Kandi – Man  in the Mirror

10. Bob Sinclair – Love Generation

Independent  Movies:

1. Troika

2. Roxxxanne

3. Serbis

4. Bath House

5. Duda

6. Ang Lihim ni Antonio

7. Lalake sa Parola

8. Masahista

9. Hubad

10. Twilight Dancers

11. Pantasya

12. Day Break

13. Sikil

14. Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Olivero

15. Masahista.

Help naman sa other titles ng songs heard in Bed, Government, Palawan 2 and Boracay 1 o… tapos kung san makakakuha ng kopya nung mga DVDs ng independent films. Biggy Thanks! 🙂

June 24, 2008

One Night Only

LSS fever. I was singing this song since the storm/typhoon Frank hit Manila. One night only, one night only. Although i am not sure of what am i asking for this one night. Maybe, one night of a wholesome date, one night of swimming, one night of DVD marathon, or one night of intimacy. I dunno. And so I searched for the lyrics of the song as it might help me figure out why do i sing this song over and over again.

I got this one

You want all my love and my devotion
You want my loving soul right on the line
I had no doubt that I could love you forever
The only trouble is I really don’t have the time

I’ve got one night only
One night only
That’s all I have to spare
One night only
Let’s not pretend you care

Then i laughed. During my LSS all i can sing is one night only, one night only and now i sang the whole song. I think i had this song on my mind over and over again because i can love a person i choose to love but i don’t have the time as of the moment and all i can offer is just one night. Hmm. I had several names in my head but i can’t seem to figure out who he is. Am i this insensitive nowadays??? Someone likes me but i am clueless and just offers one night of my life??? Sino kaya sya… Baka ikaw yun. Hehe. Kung ikaw man, send me a message. 😛 Or may be i am convincing myself that i am not falling in love and just wants a one night stand. Hmmm.

October 17, 2007

Of Loving and Loving More

Filed under: Cheesy, Mushy Me,Dream Dates,In a Relationship,Pink Life — khentutz @ 7:53 am

It was a normal workday today until me and my cubemate Karla had a discussion with the progress of our struggle to be happy. Yada yada yada. We conversed on how it is to be in a quasi relationship. And from that i learned and adopted a new philosophy in life. Nakakapagod magmahal at umasa, subalit dapat tandaan na ang pagod ay naipapahinga. Whoa. Karla’s friend was right, we may at some point in time get annoyed of the mediocrity and loving too much, but with just a few breaks or lie-low situations we gain the momentum back and continue to love more. It is not that i am pagod or became mediocre for loving DM but i felt that if in the future i am to encounter it, i know better that all i need is pahinga.

DM and I almost sees and hangs out everyday, more pertinent and serious plans are being tackled, we were able to establish our comfort zone together and grew to be better individuals. The lines of communication are more open than ever and circumstances just unfolds itself for lessons to be learned, compromises to make and the willingness to keep and continue what we started. However, the green-eyed monster in me spoils the fun. At first both of us becomes uneasy of the situation but what i love more about him, he has the capacity to make me feel that we can talk about things, explain the real happening and assure me that there’s nothing to be jealous of. Just like from our other mini-fights, we both learn the harder way, but it becomes a blessing in disguise that proves how much we value each other and our eagerness to continue and hold on together.

Do you think someone deserves your best when he can handle your worsts? I do. Life is fun and cruel, it is about learning and growing up. I am so grateful i found DM.

October 10, 2007

Bie

“Iba na lang tawag mo sa akin wag yung bie, ayaw ko yun e” “yun kce tawagan nila xxx at *** e, iba na lang” This phrases will put to retirement the terms of endearment “bie” in my vocabulary.  He may  not be that vocal but his actions tells me something special between us is being shared, or maybe something more special. Face your fear. I did, and once again no guts no glory proved that taking chances can bring more than what you expect. “Sinasabi ko naman kapag ayaw ko d ba?” another phrase that reaffirmed what has transpired before happened because he also wanted it to happen. What we experience lately is something he deliberately wants to happen. Hmm.

 We are spending more time together, more days together, doings things together and weaving fabric of dreams together.  Can i say, this is it! or continue to question this is it? Anyway, it will boil down to having a label of being in a relationship. Being labeled as such may have its benefits however is it really important to be labeled as couples when within yourselves you have a silent pact of staying together?

 Well, back to BIE, this little talk of ours led to affirmations of what we are sharing. He asked his part of questions and i asked mine. We felt a little awkward of the sudden bombardment of intense questions but we kept our composure and answered each other’s query with honesty. Things got clear and we both felt that there are some things should be understood as you see and feel and shouldn’t be analyzed further.

 I have loved a lot of times, got hurt a lot of times but DM makes me love and fall in love each day as if it was the first day we met and bonded. I am happy, contented and grins with a cheerful heart. Off to my pen for now, i’ll be seeing him in a little while.

October 5, 2007

Mind Over Matter

Negative thoughts invite negativity around and soon enough some of the unthinkable happens. Last night, a shocking phrase from a kid melted me in an instant. If i could be eaten alive by shame i am nowhere to be found now. Yes, i am not a straight guy, so what? As long as i am not doing something that inflicts damage on others, i shouldn’t be judged based on my sexuality. I loss my appetite and asked to be sent home in the middle of a dinner. Tears have been circling around my eyes and would fall any moment. I could not look into his eyes nor reply to his questions. The moment i stepped out of the vehicle, i broke down. I fell on my knees and cried in silence in my room. I fell prey for the ideals of others. I got hurt to the standards set by them, i was affected with what they think is right. As i let myself drown in tears, he called, he made efforts, he made known that he knew i was hurt. He gave his best shot to win my heart back. He was successful. He pacified me, gave me a feeling of comfort, assurance and his desire not to give up on what we share. It may have not been the word per word ideal but i felt that we are sharing somethng special and he is eager enough to exert efforts to keep it. Seeing him open up his soft side is something celebrating. Not all guys are willing to show their soft spots even to their partners. And his kind words and exerted efforts convinced me that just like him, i should not let others stop me from being the best that i could be. Maybe, i am just shocked with the phrase that came out from the kid and my first reaction was to be ashamed but as i pondered about it, i shouldn’t be timid at all, i didn’t do any harm.

In every relationship, circumstances tests the foundation of your relationship with someone. If you let go, it all ends, but when you try to fight for it, a deeper connection and understanding happens that strengthens the social relationship. However, there are times that no matter how hard you try to keep a relationship it just ends someday soon. The only consolation of not giving up, is learning to see the positive sides of the negativity.

Mind over matter. Most often than not, what we think happens so better be optimistic and experience great possibilities in the future. Being optimistic however is different from being idealistic. Sticking strong enough to the ideal world could hurt when in reality it could not happen. Be optimistic up to the extent of seeing it happen soon.

In a text message i received from an online friend, it says that to fall in love with a person you need fall in love many times with the same person. and now i am smiling as DM provides more reasons of loving him each day. I’ll stay as long as he wants me to stay.

October 4, 2007

Serendipity

Filed under: Cheesy, Mushy Me,Pink Life,Rumbles and Grunts — khentutz @ 9:41 am

As I read Coldman’s recent post, i had goosebumps and felt what he felt on an unexpected moment with his ex. I thought that vis-a-vis encounters will only bring back the memories of the past, but i was wrong. Reading a similar scenario brought back to me all the faces of those persons i shared my life before but ended up growing apart from each other. As i grow old, my love for a person gets deeper but then comes this fear of what if the past will happen again. will i still be able to bear and endure the pain and eventually move on?

 The blog i read awakened my darkest fears of losing DM now, in the past weeks that transpired we grew together, had a very open conversation inspired by truths, revelations and trivial details to know each other better. More time was spent as days pass. What if one day it suddenly stops and he feels he’s tired and bored of what we have?

 DM’s actions wants me to stay, but i would need an affirmation too. It’s been four months and if i’ll read He’s Just Not That Into You, its the end. I tried to save this 100th post on my blog for a special one but it turns out, it will be a mark when my fears started to set in. Coldman’s heartache echoed through mine. I am hurting because of my fears.

 where are those shoulders when you need one?

September 21, 2007

2-22

I have my last two days to enjoy my age of 22, on sunday i’ll be officialy 23. OMG. I am not getting any younger. However, i am happy that i can push through marriage without parental consent. haha. Ewan ko ba at naisip ko yun. Anyway, I’ll be off from blogging later until monday next week kaya ngaun ko na ipangangalandakan na ako’y tatanda na.

I got frustrated when my supposed to be 100th post on this blog is a little too far from my natal day. I tried to catch up but it is still short 😦 anyhow, just like any other birthdays, i am thankful to God for another year of experiences, blessings and improvements.
There had been my ups and downs since last year. Some memorable events that made important markings on my life. I met new people, bonded with them and gained friends from them. There are also those special people whom i opted to share my life, efforts and time and got wasted in the end. Haha, bitter pa din. Just kidding, i’m better now and looks forward to be a better me in the years to come.

As part of the culture i inherited from my family, every year i celebrate my birthday on its day only. Even if it falls on a weekday, the celebration is done on that day. Although some instances i had celebrated my birthday minutes before it starts or minutes after the day. Nevertheless, my pakain falls on sunday, celebrating, and sharing it to my family, friends and sometimes with the special someone i have.

Birthdays aren’t complete for wishes, so here’s my visual wishlist according to priority. If you think you could grant one, i will be certainly delighted.

1. Good health
2. Stable and Strong Career
3. Masteral Degree
4. Confirmation (Bahala na kayo mag isip ano ito)

5. 2007 Toyota Vios – grayish blue ok lang ang 1.3J pero msa preferred and 1.3E
6. Canon SD750 or pede na rin Sony cybershot W55
7. Ipod Video 30 gig color black
8. PSP
9. Roundtrip Tickets to Boracay plus hotel accomadtion 3D/2N
10. Baby Face latest album of compiled hits
11. T-Shirts from greenhills na printed ng funny lines
12. Undies na seamless from Mossimo
13. GCs – Powerbooks
14. Benetton Cold / Paradiso
15. Thompson Airsoft Gun
16. 3000 BB Pellets
17. Dante’s cove dvd collection
18. UST 2011 jacket
19. Haviana’s size 9 Italia
20. 3 reams West Ice

marami pa inde ko lang maiblog. pm me kung gusto nyo ako regaluhan. 🙂

Advance Happy 23rd birthday to me!!! 🙂

September 14, 2007

Start of Something New

Both sides have been vocal. Confrontation on issues one by one. The truth unfolds in a sublime way. Though some were still left in the dark, honesty and sincerity matters. Change should be accepted with gratitude. To things and events unknown, a simple smile could handle the pressure. I am just thankful, we’ve been vocal. I hope it brings more opportunities and things to share and look forward to. Even my love for DM has changed, it is deeper and has grown mature and all. Given the chance, i would love to grow old with him and just stay as long as we both want each other’s company. DM, cheers to you. You proved you more than one can think of you.:)

As another part of change, our company’s growth, expansion and rebranding will come to its existence to the whole world by monday. New challenges, new options, new work, just like with DM i am confident that i’ll have a bright future with my rebranded company. Well, DM can’t get enough of my blog e, I think he has the most number of posts ever written for someone i shared my life with.

September 3, 2007

Season’s Greetings!

Filed under: Pink Life — khentutz @ 10:15 am

BER months officially started last saturday, and i wasn’t able to post this entry for the 31st day of August as emotions and love bedazzled my mind. Days will pass by and soon enough you’ll just wake up and it’s christmas party here and there together with bells ringing signifying Simbang Gabi with Puto Bumbong on its side. A simple september will soon be december.
An since the BER months had start, i would like to greet everyone an advance Merry Christmas!

The season for loving more is coming and as what elders say, let us make everyday a Christmas day. So how do you plan to make your daily living a Christmas day? Let us love more and bring on the best smile on our faces. This is the season to be jolly.

Gifts can just be a manifestation of our love, but it is not a gauge for love. Simple things count as an act of love as long as it comes from the heart.
With that in mind, I am now announcing that i am accepting gifts for the season, it can be monetary, and/or in kind. Email me @ khentutz@gmail.com for further information on how to deliver your gifts to me. Hehe:)

So, Merry Xmas dear blogosphere friends! 🙂

P.S. Syempre imposible mawalan ng space si DM sa blog ko, I had a blast with him last friday, an uplifting and loving communication during weekends and a new scenario just this day. It just boils down to one emotion, love. haha. spare my mushi(y)ness but i am truly, madly, deeply in love with DM. 🙂

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