khentutz… R-E-A-D-I-N-G

January 20, 2011


In the End by Linkin Park is playing in the back ground. Some parts of the song are ringing some bell in my thoughts but then again I realized i am numb with how things are going in my corporate life. I may have not been that lucky with my current job (until tomorrow) I am blessed with other great stuff like family, loved one and friends. Sing aloud if you ever feel you have been treated unfairly in your office jobs.

The bold parts in the lyrcis struck me most as i enjoy my last two days in this office.

(It starts with)
One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

Soon i realized that the title i thought was wrong, but apparently Linkin Park has the song numb too. I am numb to the feeling of letting go of all the sacrifices, efforts and hard work i did for the past 5 years. Cheers to unemployment tomorrow after COB and hello Boracay Islands for vacation. I will resume job hunting after a well rested vacation.


August 3, 2009

Will History Repeat Itself?

In the past weeks that passed after my dreaded busy season (packed with tons of benefits) i was coerced to commute on my way home. Hinde pa ako milyonaryo para mag taxi pauwi na hinde sponsored.

There is nothing wrong in commuting. In fact, i enjoy commuting. My only fear is that, here i go again, my only convenient way of getting in and out of makati is through service shuttles. Wala naman issue dun d b? The thing is, i get close to some of them more than i should be. I am not sure if there is a law or guideline to limit one’s interaction with one another. The scenario is like this, i end up being one of the last passengers or i am seated beside the owner of the van. Then it begins. The conversation starts, then laughters and a good time. Nothing wrong with that. But then here comes to exchanging numbers. Pwede naman hinde mag reply kapag may nag text but out of hiya, a conversation starts. And before you know it, close na kami.

E anu naman kung close na kami. Eto na ung point. Masasanay ako. If i missed a day not riding their van or a miss in reply then I would start to miss them. OA? True. Yan ang hinde ko maintindihan sa sarili ko. Adik. Yes, tulad ng Adik Sa’yo ng GMA. Un nga lang sa totoong buhay.

So will history repeat itself for me? I dunno for now. Pero ayaw ko sana. Dati naman kuntento na ako na makauwi ako bakit ngaun may parang kurot na gusto lage na sumabay? hahaha. malandi ba? wala ako magagawa.

Damn, i really have to get my own car. It will eliminate the possibility of interacting with them, the leser chance of falling in infatuation. Pero hinde ko rin ginagawa. Di rin ako bibili or if meron malamang e mag co-commute pa rin ako.

And i don’t think that history will repeat itself, before the thing that i had with the shuttle guy was only clear to both of us, now we have several friends and co-passengers who happen to know the bonding and friendship that is transpiring.

So ok, this is not like the last time. Will it end the same or in a much sweeter tone? ASA.

Daily dose of landi at kilig e siguro pwede na. kaya wag na palalain. here i go again. help!

May 11, 2009

Manny Pacquiao and Our Taxes

Filed under: Desperately seeking answers,Rumbles and Grunts — khentutz @ 7:23 am

yeah, yeah, yeah. Manny Pacman Pacquiao won over Ricky Hatton. Most Filipinos have supported the pambansang kamao on his latest title fight. Even if the match lasted for barely 2 rounds, Filipinos rejoiced on Manny’s triumph. Congratulations…

And the Filipinos where back to the reality of their own problems.

Days passed.

President GMA decided to give Pacman a ceremonial thank you through a motorcade in major routes in the metro. It should have been last Friday, then moved to today (Monday) and i am not sure if it was rescheduled on Wednesday.

A plastic ribbon colored with Red, Blue and White were printed with the congratulations and bayaning Pilipino note for Pacman. It was tied up on the threes, lamp posts, street signs, fences, bridges and everywhere and anywhere men in blue can get their hands on. This ribbon as others claim, would be the route for Manny’s motorcade.

On my way to work yesterday, i was surprised that all the roads that i pass through have these ribbons waving with all smiles at me. At first i was amazed on how the men in blue were able to put these ribbons in places you can’t think of. But i suddenly realized that, the government (GMA) paid for these ribbons. Yes, the red,blue and white ribbons are the taxes withheld from my salary. Damn.

That plastic thingy hanging around with all smiles at me, are there because, we normal tax payers are giving the government funds to peruse for whatever action they may think of.

Okay, I may be a little bit over-acting here, but come to think of it. After the motorcade, where will these ribbons go? Trash? Partly correct, it will just add up to pollution for sure.

Correct, nice thinking, the money we worked hard for, became ribbons then became rubbish.

Ang saya ‘di ba? Because we wanted to congratulate Manny for winning another title belt, we had our salaries withheld and  face to face see our money become waste.

Most Filipinos shelled out money just to watch Pacman fight for barely 2 rounds. It’s not worth it right? Then comes the govt that used our taxes paid for his wlecome celebration. The Govt could have hanged 1 kilo of rice or something else that may be beneficial for the majority. Not to mention, the possible super mega traffic this motorcade may bring about.

I am not a fan or Pacman nor someone who dislikes Manny, I am just a concerned citizen that was alarmed of the ribbons used and traffic i might encounter because of Pacman’s victory. If this would happen everytime Manny wins, then I hope for Pacman’s loss next time.

And BTW, after 2 rounds of the boxing, who became rich? pacman.

us? broken due to the live watching and double broken because taxes were used for the celebration, and super loser because, we normal citizens will bear the traffic Pamcan’s motorcade will cause.

Isn’t enough that almost everyone watched him fight? Do we really need to waste money to show we appreciate his winnings?

If you find this post rude, go ahead, vote Manny as Congressman of Saranggani.

May 6, 2009

Bring Me to Life

Filed under: Daily dose of Blogs,Desperately seeking answers — khentutz @ 3:13 am

This is a shout out to myself to revive my blogging prowess.

It was almost half a year that i visited this one.

Any kind of help to revive my blog is well appreciated.

Proxy season (work) will soon be over and i hope to blog again.

October 21, 2008


Filed under: Desperately seeking answers — khentutz @ 9:13 am

For this year, the theme for our company christmas party will be anyone seen in comics or comics turned into shows. Easy may it seem but it’s really hard to ponder on which character I will be. My first option is to buy Naruto costume in Comic Alley, however, buying it will have chances of seeing it on my colleagues too. That option is for lazy persons who finds immediate solutions rather than preparign for it.

As i ponder more on what to wear on our christmas party, I began to think. Is Christmas really for kids only? 2008 have been a challenging year financially for me, maybe that’s why. Anyway, any suggestions for a good comic costume?

It may be foreign or local comic character.

October 17, 2008

Passing By

Filed under: Desperately seeking answers,Rumbles and Grunts — khentutz @ 6:20 am

Just like the wind that swiftly blows around us, i am passing by my blog. It has been more than a month since my last post and update. Several things happened but just the same am still khentutz in the blogosphere.

There were those tempting days when I’d love to blog, but before i could even start a post, tinatamad ako. Not that i don’t want to blog anymore but I seem to lack the energy to type what my heart and mind tells me.

As a gist, i am no longer with the one i call hubby due to some reasons i can’t comprehend until now. BBTF with DM. And this time, i think it’s sweeter and better. I’m into travel trips and music as of the moment. I got back to being a dvd guy and home bud ulit. But im still struggling to get back the blogger me.

So here i am, trying to make sense, trying to blog and hopeful to get the energy to blog i used to have.

August 20, 2008

Falling Hair???

Filed under: Desperately seeking answers — khentutz @ 10:15 am

For the Nth time, as i hurriedly walked to the washroom of our office floor, i saw pubes on the urinal. There was never a time that i didn’t see a pube on the urinal. So i tried to observe more. I tried using different urinals at different times of the day, to my luck, there are still pubes.

You may ask, it might be coming from me. Answer is NO. Before i take a leak, i always look down on the urinal checking it’s cleanliness, and low and behold, pubes everywhere. EEWWWWWW.

So for the last few weeks i let go of this thought. But as i took a leak today, there it was lying once again on the urinal a long threaded pube. The moment i finshed peeing, i looked at all the urinals, yes! good guess, pubes everywhere. I began to think, is it normal for pubes to fall when someone is peeing???

I asked my straight male friends in the office and they all told me that their pubes does not fall either. I know it’s hygiene to shave or trim one’s pube but to do it in a public place? geez. I even looked it up in google but to no avail i had no answer. Does your pube fall off when leaking???

July 10, 2008

Bitter or Pathetic?

These two are choices when someone is falling in love or already in love. it’s either they become bitter of a relationship or patethic just to have a relationship. OR it’s just me. 😦

There are certain times whenever i am in a circumstance of people in love or on the act of falling in love even my dearest friends, i feel bitter. Disagreeing with their moments of love and instead say that they will fall apart soon and what they share will never last.  I would even suggest that, whenever the other party is not making their presence known, they are with somebody else. Whenever i see a couple looking good together, i say to myself that they are sweet for not but not in the long run. I dunno why am i so bitter at times? maybe because i haven’t had my share of a love that lasted for quite some time? I lost faith in love, that it conquers all? Or simply because i am jealous, that i am single? hmmm.

On the part of being pathetic, sometimes people in love would risk almost everything they had to keep their lovers on their side. So patethic that they (I) will focus their efforts and time on them to build their own world even if they sense their love is about to give up and is taken by somebody else. More pathetic by attributing every event to their partner and make these events as omens of their relationship.

 The only thing that is same for being bitter or pathetic is that you end up losing. Losing a chance to have the best possible future and love. Or losing your loving self and end up not having someone to be your partner, your loved one.

July 1, 2008

Pink Life

Help! I had a sudden impulse for club/house/trance music and indie films. I have been hearing and dancing many songs from the clubs i have been with my friends. I wanted them on my playlist. The problem is i dunno the titles nor the artists. As for the indie films, i missed all gay-themed movie premieres and play dates. I have some titles but i also don’t know where to get them. And as i blog, i also felt the urge of finding literature for the pink republicans. Hhmm any suggestions?

I have listed the songs i currently have on my playlist and the independent movie titles i would want to have a DVD copy, or at least a VCD copy. For books or any literature, just leave you suggestion 😛


1. Deborah Cox – Absolutely Not

2. Rihanna – Please Don’t Stop the Music

3. Get far – Shining Star

4. Royal Gigolos – California Dreamin

5. Kat De Luna – Whine Up

6. Frederico Franchi – Cream

7. Beyonce – One Night Only Remix

8. Benny Benassi – Satisfaction

9. Hed Kandi – Man  in the Mirror

10. Bob Sinclair – Love Generation

Independent  Movies:

1. Troika

2. Roxxxanne

3. Serbis

4. Bath House

5. Duda

6. Ang Lihim ni Antonio

7. Lalake sa Parola

8. Masahista

9. Hubad

10. Twilight Dancers

11. Pantasya

12. Day Break

13. Sikil

14. Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Olivero

15. Masahista.

Help naman sa other titles ng songs heard in Bed, Government, Palawan 2 and Boracay 1 o… tapos kung san makakakuha ng kopya nung mga DVDs ng independent films. Biggy Thanks! 🙂

June 25, 2008


Filed under: Desperately seeking answers — khentutz @ 8:51 am

So far after my busy season, I only have 4 confirmed trips to enjoy my low workload season. I wanted to travel and have fun, do you have any ideas of good places to visit and activities to do? So far here are my confirmed trips.

June 28 – Morning Tagaytay Road Trip (Can’t be overnight, white party by gimik night, though i am not sure if i’m going)

July4-6 – Pangasinan / Hundred Islands / Subic Get Away

Oct1-6 Cebu-Bohol Trip

Sometime last week of October or early weeks in Nov. – Singapore Trip.

Suggestions are welcome. I need ideas. 😛

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