khentutz… R-E-A-D-I-N-G

October 26, 2006

A tribute to my You – Know – Who – You – Are

Filed under: Uncategorized — khentutz @ 10:41 am

My blogs are usually thoughts and ideologies that bursts in my mind and needs a place to rest on, but this time I’m letting my heart a bit ahead of my brains, this is my tribute to a person who seemed to challenged my beliefs and ideas but was able to win me, my heart, my mind and my entirety. In my column read my mind is now read my lines…

Cockiness seems all i have
Hopeful enough to have someone
Restless at moments feeling alone
In my room dreaming to be with someone
Special someone to work life with
Thanks to you, you came way
I used not to believe in the power of love
All kinds of cynism all over the place
Now it’s gone, now that i have you

Everyday became worth remembering
Miles and walls apart gave up
Mimicking your presence next door
All i can think about is you
Never have you failed to cheer me up
Upright you and your morals are
Everything is fine and best when i’m with you
Life without you is not for me

Chance of a lifetime has dawned on me
All cards on my deck have been laid
Luck with you is what i’m fighting for
Unafraid on what the future holds
Come beside me and hold my hands
I will be happy to walk life with you in this sojourn
Not one dull moment with you

God must have been good to me
Allowing me to spend time and be with you
Best things in life appeared to be reachable
It’s because of you my special loved one
No one has touched my heart and life the way you do
Each day all i miss is you
Thank you for crossing my path
Every now and then I’m in love with you

Have you read my lines right? i hope you do…

Victims by Choice

Filed under: Rumbles and Grunts — khentutz @ 7:01 am

Victims. A word that best describes us as consumers. Companies fool us, the variety of products seen in the market is not really variety. It’s a company strategy to get a larger share of the market. Let’s take shampoos for example, the brands Lux, Vaseline and Sunsilk is manufactured by one company. if you don’t believe me, try looking at the back side portion of these bottles and you’ll see one company manufacturing these shampoos. They may differ in brand names and product specifications but the money we spent on buying these items will all go to one firm. You may argue that it’s no big deal, but hey, it is a big deal. If most money spent on consumer goods fall into a few group of elite individuals owning and operating these large companies, it’s no wonder why we, the nomral Filipinos have not felt any progress in our lives specially on the economic side. Our cash flows seem to always leak of the cycle, the money we spent should loop back to our benefit, but as most commodities are controlled and produced by oligopolistic firms, not even a single penny yields as our investment. I have nothing against these large companies but why should they hide or subtly fool us by offering a new brand name with a just a twist of resources to come up with new products?

What is worse in our contemporary times is that as population count increases so as the new technologies and advancements on the field of medicine creates new threatening illness that would result to higher sales on the end of the producers / service providers. Dyspepsia is a great example, before we use to have spasms, acidity and ulcer but now here comes dyspepsia, an illness cured by the same medicine we use for the former sickness. The world does evolve yet men become less rational on theif freedom. ADHD is another breakthrough in the field of abnormality. A simple act of a child where they are allowed to be carefree and probe on things they don’t know would translate to a behavioral sickness of being too active. It’s been yesterday’s news that the problem of the society are the slow movers and slow learners. We should be more alarmed if youth of the future is active and find ways to know what is happening. What’s next, a simple proactivity would mean a disease in mental health.

Companies may have helped us realize things we want in life, but they are making us victims of their predatory market strategy and innovations. They can afford to fool us because we have no choice, we would still buy from them. And not to mention their best friend in mockery. Media.

Media is a whole lot blog worthy of writing, but let me say that MEDIA is the modern imperiaist in our midst. They may or may not directly affects us in our decisions but in our subconscious minds, what the media presents becames as our basis of standard even though we know that media sensationalizes. Of a whole story, i suppose only 15 percent is true.

We may have insight on how companies and media fool us, but what can we do, we are their victims.

It’s sad that you are given a variety of choice when you buy things, but when others try to get your precious things you are not given a choice.

When you are being mugged, the bandits wont ask you to choose what to give to them, they would just say “Celphone mo!!! akin na!” but in the past they would even ask for your wallet or jewelry. It really makes me feel bad that you are not really empowered as a consumer yet when being mugged you don’t even have a choice.

Do you think we are really free to choose? i don’t think so. we have been enslaved to be victims of a pretentious world of choices, we are not selecting on our choice, it’s the only choice we have.

October 18, 2006

When does being ironic count?

Filed under: Desperately seeking answers — khentutz @ 4:50 am

Have you ever experienced you wanted to buy something yet your pockets seem to be full of air and when your wallet talks out loud while strolling over the mall you can’t even find one that you like? If yes, that’s a good sign. you’re a pretty normal person. Irony has become chronic in our times. When we are not in a relationship we grunt on not having one and will accept the struggles and joys of having a relationship. But whenever we are in a relationship we lift our hand asking that it would be perfect having no problems and arguments. When we are at school we wanted to work and earn cash already but when we are receiving our pay checks we hoped to be students again. Why is it that we have a little more time to spare, we procrastinate and opt to craming but when we are mindless and devatsed on crunch time we regret and would want to turn back time? And our list goes on…

Why are we so ironic, if you feel not being one, Why am i ironic? why can’t I have a grasp of what i really want? Does the fluctuations of stock prices have a direct impact on peoples lives that we can’t decipher what we really want? i always seek for is not around, but having wahat i sought vis-a-vis i realize i don’t want it at all. Why can’t the forces of nature help man that when he has cash to pay have the things he want upfront? Why can’t desire and drive jive whenever we feel like doing something?

I find it absurd when i become ironic in situations i shouldn’t be, it makes the situations worse.

How do i get over being ironic? tell me. please.

October 10, 2006

Lonely Night

Filed under: Cheesy, Mushy Me — khentutz @ 8:23 am

Getting mushy once in awhile is not bad. But being mushy in a cold rainy night exaggerates one’s loneliness.

I have tons of friends apart from which are some genuine friends who keep me company and energize me whenever I am with them. These real friends are the ones I am most comfortable with. Whenever with them I have no pretensions but with few pesky little lie that are inevitable. You make some little white lies to cover for being late, for your special someone and sometimes so as not to aggravate isolated situations. Don’t be a hypocrite. You once lied even with your best friend? Right? Anyway it’s not about lying that I am pouring my heart out this night.

Back to the companionship of my genuine friends, I share stories of my life, my ups and downs even the embarrassing things I did or the foolish acts I committed in my past. Though they may comment negatively at times, they still remain my friend and embrace me with so much acceptance and understanding. But when you are back at your home alone, listening to dream sounds or slow jams paired with cold air and rainy season. You then feel alone. (In case you felt the same way, don’t worry you’re not alone; we share the same sentiment.) You then appreciate several persons in your life, missed their presence, your bonding moments and then suddenly become nostalgic. The cold air that I breathe worsens the scenario because I have no one to cuddle except for stuffed toys or my favorite pillow. The pouring rain reminds me that in this moment though I have friends and family that I treasure I am still alone. (For those who cling on to the religious side, you will suggest that these would be a DAYEINU moment, saying to one’s self that God is enough for me. I understand your belief.)

The intensity of feeling alone rises as the rain pours and the cold breezes continuously get in and out of your lungs. The music that resounds on my head travels me back in time reminiscing the moments you had someone on these cold rainy nights. And now I am vis-à-vis with reality that I don’t have someone to comfort my loneliness. I tried to get in touch with my friends to cheer myself up but as you hung up the phone or stop texting each other. I am alone again. I also have to understand that my friends (or partner if he’s the one you’re missing) have to live their own lives. Another reality bites that I am just a friend. Ouch. I am such a sour loser or worse a pathetic individual.

I could not blame the season for bringing so much loneliness and emptiness in my room. I do not know whom to blame. The only emotion that overwhelms me is the feeling of being alone. I hate raining. It’s the time when I feel I am really alone and secluded form the rest of the world. Though I may be okay the moment I wake up the next morning the reality remains I am alone.

You may clamor that I should find someone to comfort me such as a partner but then again I opt not to have one. My heart just went through lots of aches and pains and I wanted my heart to have a breather.

I am satisfied with the set of friends I have right now, they make me smile, cheer me up and fill in empty seconds of my life. I guess I just miss a special friend of mine who added up a little spice in my life from my set of friends.

You know who you are. I just missed you so bad. I miss you.

Road Blocks – The Battle that NEVER Ends

Filed under: Desperately seeking answers — khentutz @ 8:23 am

Drawing a line between selfishness and self – giving is really hard to do. The question of when will you compromise or hold on to your ego bedazzles your entirety. When will I think of myself? When is the right time to give in to their needs? When is it that I am giving too much to someone? More pertinent queries arouse as you struggle to decipher selfishness and self – giving. Let’s say in the world of lovers, (swingers not included since their motive of having a relationship is not love itself, correct me if I am wrong)

Am I giving too much of me, does he gets the better of me?

Am I so self centered that I fail to acknowledge his needs?

Am I taken for granted already?
Do I abuse my partner’s trust and love?

These questions serves as roadblocks to loving a person fully, not unless taken constructively, result? If not break ups it can be cool offs or a stronger relationship. How do we balance fulfilling our needs and their needs? HELP.

To love or not to love

Filed under: Desperately seeking answers — khentutz @ 8:21 am

NO man is an island. Indeed, we need others to complete our sanity and understanding of life. Even the hermits know that they need to get out of their shelves and taste life. Solitary persons as others claim but these hermits in one way or another interacted with people (arguably few) to support their needs. Men’s physique is designed uniquely so that each other would complement another. Though I admit that some do not click because of incompatibility of interests. Thus, we have established that we need partners to survive this crazy and cool life we were given. The contention is to love or not to love? Based from my introduction I suppose we should love (and get hurt) than not love at all (or experience love).

Why do we really need to love other persons while we have our family and friends who loves us in the first place? The fact is we had these friends and family all because of love. If Adam and Eve were not attracted and fell in love with other, the whole human race could have not been existent. I can’t further expound on this side since it is truistic. As the cliché goes love makes the world go round.

What about young lovers? Are they ready to love seriously at their age? For me Practice makes perfect, you’ll learn something new when you break the rules. It’s like Mathematics; a trial and error should be undergone to test the waters. We are not expecting a perfect relationship in your first try; some would even have dozens or even millions of experimentation. Just like what I read from a friend’s blog,

HOW DO YOU ACHIEVE THE HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW?

Right decisions.

HOW COME YOU COME UP WITH RIGHT DECISIONS?

Experience.

WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR EXPERIENCE?

Wrong decisions.

It is also in the nature of men to fail in order to achieve success. The more you are exposed to relationships with people (not only in a lovers relationship, whether it be friendship, acquaintance and whatever) the more chance of learning useful insight that would help you gain maturity and wisdom. Feel free to try one. There is no harm in trying just as long you know your limits.

What about flirting and swingers? Personally I do not consider them a love thing though some true loves started from this way but majority of those involving in fling relationships and swingers are insecure people who thought that getting your love of life in a shortcut. Or on the perspective of perverts flings are relationships not founded on love but other areas, whether be it curiosity, money, sex, frustration or even an illness. Why illness? Because this person have seen love in a shallow paradigm not true love itself. They see relationships as a past time for their selfish motives.

As other writers quote

Girls give sex to find love while Guys give love to find sex.

The maturity level of a person may dictate when is it time to enter a relationship or not. Teens and early young adults tend to be inquisitive as they grow up. They try different styles of courting, others try all the waters, they would even get into the point of an identity crisis not knowing to whom are they attracted to.

A new question transpires is it love that these same sex relationships really want?

The answer remains unknown, though I experienced it several times I still do not know is it really love that I’m feeling or am I confused between love and lust. But then again, its worth trying, the important thing when getting out of a relationship is to learn from the relationship. Heterosexual or homosexual love for young adults ends up in the future, so no one is sure if it’s in a heterosexual love or homosexual love they will learn. I suppose all relationships are established to teach an individual I guess we just have to pay close attention to what these past relationships tells us.

Let’s give love a try.

Of dating and hanging out

Filed under: Desperately seeking answers — khentutz @ 8:16 am

Have you been in an awkward situation when you can’t distinguish dating with hanging out? How does one know he is dating or just hanging out with his partner? Are there rules creating a thin line between the two? Can hanging out and dating happen in one occasion?

 Let’s first define the two so we can better understand these phenomenons. Dating according to an on-line source is  a promise or agreement to be at a particular place at a particular time. While hanging out is defined as spending one’s free time in a certain place to pass time idly or keep company.

Based from the above definitions, dating would entail a couple or non-couple  who agreed to be at somewhere at a specific time, so this could even mean asking someone to be with you in the future is a preparation for dating because you must agree that you’ll be meeting on that specified date, time and place. While hanging out would mean, using one’s free time to make the time pass by him or just simply to keep someone company.

who experiences dating, who hangs out? i’m not sure with the answer.

Does it mean whenever we meet up with someone who agreed to meet us is considered dating and spending free time with another person is just hanging out?

The more i think about it, the more it becomes unclear to me. Have you ever went out with a guy that became close and romantic few days after the meet up but then after a week did not return your calls and messages all because in his point of view it’s just mere hanging out?

The term “hanging out” has been abused by insecure individuals who can’t commit or at least be true to themselves. They tend to use it as an escape goat to avoid commitments but gain pleasure.

Or does hanging out evolved to compromise the diminishing moral standards of the community just as break up sex evolved?

 So what does guys mean, when they say

Can I ask you out for a date?

or

Will you hang out with me sometime?

Help. I’m losing my sanity.

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